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Poppycock and moonshine

"I've decided to take up French," declared OldSmoothie today.

"Whatever language he says it in, he'll still be speaking cobblers," said UpTights.

"Poppycock, I'd say," said BusyBody.

"I prefer moonshine, myself," said TheCreep.

"I'm sure you do," said HeadClerk.

"I once heard a barrister describe his opponent's submissions as flapdoodle," said SlipperySlope.

"Just plain old codswallop will do for OldSmoothie."

"More like a blathering cesspit of drivel and bilge," said UpTights trying to sound light-hearted but failing dismally.

"Don't you just love it when your thoughts suddenly pop out all of their own accord," smiled TheBusker.

"Happens to me all the time in court," said TheVamp. "I always just put on my most serious expression and make it sound like I'd been working up to it for the past half hour."

"There's one judge who's pretty much got a legal version of Tourettes. Can't help muttering obscenities about whoever's appearing in front of him under his breath. Always sufficiently audible as to be completely off-putting if it's your first time."

"I'd take that any day over the judge who fell asleep during one of my submissions," said TheCreep with a surprising show of honesty.

BabyBarista is a fictional account of a junior barrister written by Tim Kevan whose new novel is Law and Peace. For more information and to read past posts visit babybarista.com. Cartoons by Alex Williams, author of 101 Ways to Leave the Law.

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