The joys of being self-employed

“You know, alternative business structures are going to lead to us all working for solicitors firms,” said UpTights at chambers tea today.
“Yeh right, as if we, the Bar, are going to do that,” said OldSmoothie.
“But you already do,” said TheBusker, breaking it to him gently.
“Oh, hmm, well, maybe so technically, but we don’t actually work, work. We, you know, deign to give them a little of our valuable time.”
“In return for cash,” added TheBusker, again looking at him sympathetically.
“But that’s not the same as working. You know, like being employed.”
“You’re right there,” said TheVamp. “I love waiting two or three years for payment. I mean who’d want a regular pay cheque when bank loans will fill the hole?”
“And I just can’t get over how good that cold empty frightened feeling is in your stomach when your diary becomes empty, your paperwork dries up and you still have a mortgage to pay. It’s the kind of thing which makes me just skip to work,” said BusyBody.
“Then there’s the sick pay, company cars and pensions which we definitely wouldn’t want to receive,” said TheBusker.
“Not to mention paternity pay,” BusyBody added looking pointedly at OldSmoothie who is still the bookies’ (ie the clerks’) favourite to be revealed as the father of her child.
The room was silent as everyone contemplated the joys of being self-employed.
BabyBarista is a fictional account of a junior barrister written by Tim Kevan. You can buy the latest BabyBarista novel, 'Law and Peace' on Amazon. The cartoons are by Alex Williams, author of The Queen's Counsel Lawyer's Omnibus.