PI Brief Update

Spending a penny

I had a case conference today with two clients. In all we had OldSmoothie, myself, TheVamp and TheCreep all representing the Bar and SlipperySlope, NurserySlope and four other people representing the other half of the profession. Ten lawyers billing out an average of perhaps £400 an hour bringing it to some £4,000 an hour in total. Oh and when you add VAT and then a 100% uplift if we win the case, the costs are not far short of ten grand an hour. Or as SlipperySlope pointed out this morning as we waited for the clients, “That’s more than £150 a minute. Time to make hay! Chat about the weather: one grand. Football, another. Oh and don’t forget to pause and enjoy the most expensive coffee and biscuits on the planet.”

After all that, the very worst of it came at the end of the conference when I thought I’d just be able to slip out and rush to the loo. The effects of the curry from the night before were just starting to take their toll and as I sat down I knew I might be, as they say, a little while. Well, so I was and some half an hour later I eventually emerged and to my horror found the whole conference waiting for me. “I hope you don’t mind that we waited whilst you spent a penny,” said one of the two clients. “I just wanted to thank you personally for all your hard work”.

Which led to much guffawing after they left. “Spending a penny,” chuckled SlipperySlope.
“More like half a million pennies,” said OldSmoothie.

BabyBarista is a fictional account of a junior barrister written by Tim Kevan. You can buy the latest BabyBarista novel, 'Law and Peace' on Amazon. The cartoons are by Alex Williams, author of The Queen's Counsel Lawyer's Omnibus.