Yes We Can
I was against BusyBody in court yesterday. Her hair was frizzier and curlier than ever which I took as a warning sign that her busying had probably reached the mania stage of its cycle again. “Hi, BabyB, all well I hope. I’ve been up since four o’clock this morning writing myself lists of goals I want to achieve.”
“Oh.”
“Yes, I’ve got a new life-coach, you know.
“I see.”
“Yes, saw a profile on him in a newspaper. Carved a niche teaching people how to model their lives on Barack Obama and each of his ten specific personal qualities, you know.”
“Right.” I didn’t ask any more as she was talking at about a thousand words a minute and I was started to get exhausted just listening. So it wasn’t until we got into court and she started opening her case that I quite realised the full extent of the influence of said life-coach.
“Your Honour. I represent the Claimant in this personal injury case. The Defendant will be arguing that you cannot award damages for injury to feelings only. Your Honour, what I say to you is just one thing: yes we can. Just as Nelson Mandela walked free and saved a nation, I say yes we can. Just as the iron curtain collapsed and liberated half a continent, I say yes we can and just as the American people realised that they can repent and start over, I say yes we can.” She paused before ending with: “Your Honour, whatever technical, sniggly or even wriggly little legal arguments may be raised by my opponent I simply use three words that have been echoing around the world and waking us all up to the boundless possibility of the human spirit. Damages to injury to feelings? You Honour, I say…” She paused dramatically and then, you guessed it… “yes,” and she banged her hand on the lectern, “we,” and again, “can,” and this time the lectern tipped over with the force of her pounding and clattered to the floor.
Ignoring the distraction, BusyBody sat down. At that moment, wherever else in the world those three little words happened to be echoing, it can certainly be said that they were doing so around courtroom number two of Staines County Court.
BabyBarista is a fictional account of a junior barrister written by Tim Kevan. You can buy the latest BabyBarista novel, 'Law and Peace' on Amazon. The cartoons are by Alex Williams, author of The Queen's Counsel Lawyer's Omnibus.