Glasses
BusyBody was in chambers today. “Hi BabyB. I’m back in court next week. How do you like my new deadly weapon?”
“Sorry, I don’t know what you mean.”
“My new glasses, silly.”
“Oh. But I didn’t know you ever needed glasses before,” I answered, looking at the thick rimmed pair that now adorned her face.
“I still don’t.”
“Oh.”
“Don’t you get it? They’re great. They’re just filled with plain old glass.”
“But why?”
“Well not only do they make me look more intelligent, kind of Lois Lane style but they’re also going to work a treat when I cross-examine and spin them around and about.” She took them off and me a lingering and slightly made stare as she rabidly spun the glasses around in her left hand.
I think I must have looked just a tiny bit sceptical. “You see BabyB. According to my advocacy and all round general life coach, he says that not only will the action of taking off the glasses intimidate the witness but when you spin them around it’ll completely distract them and allow me to trip them up.”
Suddenly I had a vision of armies of BusyBodies entering the courts all over the land wearing the same silly glasses and then brandishing them at anyone who got in their way like some sort of weird sword.
BabyBarista is a fictional account of a junior barrister written by Tim Kevan. You can buy the latest BabyBarista novel, 'Law and Peace' on Amazon. The cartoons are by Alex Williams, author of The Queen's Counsel Lawyer's Omnibus.