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Yesterday I decided that I might try my hand again at taking on TheBusker’s laid back approach to advocacy.  We were arguing over what further information the Claimant needed to give about his claim.  Again, I drew myself up and again tried to make myself look terribly grown up (furrowed brow, basically).  Today it was a different line in response to an opponent who had given reasons why each of the questions should not be answered.

“Sir”, I started but realised I had forgotten the ever-so-deep voice which had won the day on Friday.  I coughed a little and started again, an octave lower,

“Sir”.  No, too low this time but I cracked on.  “Sir, life is but a sparrow’s flight through a great hall.  It is a will-o-the-wisp.  But a candle in the wind.”  Ouch.  This was becoming so cliché-ridden as to hurt even myself.  I’d lost the voice of TheBusker from the off.  It was out there somewhere in the ether chuckling at me as I struggled to grasp it back.

“Mr BabyBarista, what on earth are you wittering on about?”

“Er, just taking my run up, Sir.”

“Well, just get on with it.  It’s turning into the sort of run up of which even the great Fred Truman would have been proud.”

“Yes, Sir.  Sorry, Sir.  Er, all I was trying to say was that life is too short to be arguing about such matters.  The Claimant should answer all the questions.”

“Mr BabyBarista.  At this rate your life will indeed be short.  However, I am afraid to say that whilst you may have philosophy to be contemplating, the rest of us mere mortals have jobs to do.  For myself, I have spent many happy years arguing over far less interesting and weighty matter than that which now sits before me.  I don’t know whether your recklessness is led by courage or ignorance but either way I am afraid it will find no reward in this court.”

The magic BuskerCard, it seems, remains best played by TheBusker himself.

BabyBarista is a fictional account of a junior barrister written by Tim Kevan. You can buy the latest BabyBarista novel, 'Law and Peace' on Amazon. The cartoons are by Alex Williams, author of The Queen's Counsel Lawyer's Omnibus.